Owls' Court

Urg

Or maybe I'm just, you know, not well. Because I certainly don't feel well. Maybe it was the pizza.

HRH is making me toast, which will cure me or kill me.

Later: Aha. Too much vinegar in that salad dressing was the culprit.

'Know What You Write' Does Not Mean 'Write What You Know'

It means doing your research correctly. As Elizabeth puts it:

I firmly believe in know what you write. Which is different than write what you know. If I have to tackle a topic I'm not well grounded in, I learn about it, and then if possible I get an expert to read what I've written and tell me what I did wrong. Which doesn't mean there aren't mistakes--for example, I bitched up some of the Quebecois in Hammered. C'est la vie. There will always be mistakes.

But, for example, I don't know anything about astrology, and I needed to, for Stratford Man. So I learned what I could about it in a couple of days, and then I collared somebody who has practiced for a while, and got her to sort stuff out for me.

Friday

Friday was a day jammed with stuff. Did some banking, had a massage appointment (and may I just say "ow"? My upper trapezoids are more than a little sore this morning); spent some time with ladyofthe_lake, then we went out to lunch with Karine and Matthieu, then back to Karine's place for chatting, the divvying up of outgrown clothes, and tea and brownies; took Chantale back home, picked up HRH, and finally popped over for an evening of movies and friends to celebrate some birthdays. I keeled over at around ten PM, which, now that I think about it, is no wonder -- I'd been up and on the go for twelve hours straight with only a salad, a couple of brownies and a cup of tea, and a slice of pizza to keep me going, on top of some not so great sleep over the past few nights. Their apartment was a bit warm, too, and I felt a bit woozy; my head cleared up somewhat once we got outside in the fresh air, thank goodness. It was a pity that I had to leave, because I hadn't seen a couple of those friends in ages and didn't really get a chance to talk to them, and for once I actually hadn't seen the movies, either. I'd been looking forward to the evening for a couple of weeks. HRH got me home, tucked me into bed, and I slept like a rock. Woke up in a not so good mood, though, which is too bad, particularly since it was reinforced by the subsequent discovery of other peoples' actions.

Band practice today, which means I get to try out my new pick-up with one of the amps Invisible has left in our practice space. And if I swing by the abode of the inestimable t!, I might be able to borrow his new little practice amp, so that everyone who needs one can actually have one attached to their instrument and we can hear what it sounds like.

I wish it was sunny. My mood would improve immensely.

Morning Growl

You now, I am really, really tired of dealing with other people's insecurities and dramas about perceived slights.

GRW Book Update #6

Total word count, green witch book: 32,482
Total words today: 1,247

32,482 / 60,000 (54.0%)

Sigh

Forty-five minutes spent searching for the accurate sizing of canning jars on the Internet, so that I use the correct terminology in Chapter 6.

And three thorough cleanings of the CPU with compressed air has still not solved the odd whirr that developed around seven weeks ago.

It's days like this where I think I should just go lie down, because nothing's getting accomplished anyway, no matter what I seem to do.

Later: Although when I wasn't looking, another thousandish words sort of appeared. So maybe I am getting stuff done, despite the feeling of going nowhere.

Handy

Because we Canadians live with one foot in the metric system and the other in Imperial, measuring distance in kilometers, lengths in inches, weight in pounds, and temperature in Celsius, I give you:

CureZone.com's Conversions & Equivalent Measures

It calculates conversions for you, as well as listing lots and lots of tables of equivalent measures. Sure, I know the basic multipliers with which I can convert stuff, but this saves time and sanity.

You're welcome.

Soundtrack To A Sunless Day

The problem with overcast and rainy days is that I have no idea what time it is. It's always that sort of vague, non-direct sunlight, always-four-o'clockish time.

I'm back to figuring out how much time has passed by hearing the noisy CD carousel turn to the next disc.

I know; I'll stack the CD player with appropriately glowering soundtracks. Dracula, Interview With the Vampire, The Ninth Gate, Matrix: Revolutions and The 13th Warrior will do it. Sleepy Hollow is actually too quiet, as is The Mummy; and, well, The Mummy Returns is just too fun. Might end up taking out The 13th Warrior, but we'll give it a try.

Later: And what a failure that turned out to be. Tori Amos it is.

Musical Challenges

Orchestra last night, of course, and two of the wind players stood up to tell us how well the concert had gone, how well it had been received by fellow musicians in the audience, and to congratulate the conductor. We all applauded him, and it's about time. They're right; there's been a marked improvement over the last three performances. He's challenging us, and we're rising to the occasion.

Of course, the subsequent rehearsal showed us exactly how much of a challenge we've been given this time around: we're playing Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 2 in C minor, the "Little Russian". Three flats. Russian folk melodies, which means it's not quite the genre of melody we're used to. Argh. When sight-read, it sounds horrible. After really working a couple of passages in the first movement, however, I could hear it beginning to resolve and had a glimmer of what it might perhaps someday sound like, which may even turn out to be something close to what Tchaikovsky wrote. I've got to get a recording, though, so I can hear what it's supposed to sound like. I thought I had all of Tchaikovsky's symphonies, but I seem to be missing the second and the third. It figures.

We got a pile of new music too: Strauss's overture to Die Fledermaus (fun, fun, fun -- a bitch to play in places, but terribly fun, and everyone knows it); Brahms' Hungarian Dances, no. 5 and 6 (we've played other dances from this series before); the Polonaise from Tchaikovsky's opera Eugene Onegin; and the Serenade Melancholique, also Tchaikovsky. We're being terribly Russian this Canada Day.

Nine rehearsals before this concert; that's all. I haven't looked at the serenade or the polonaise yet, but so far the Strauss and the Brahms are all right; it's the symphony that's really, really going to need work. On the practice schedule, the conductor's programmed two movements every rehearsal, and we're alternating the poloniase and serenade one week with the overtures and dances the next week. It's going to be tight, but we'll make it.

All this, plus the Random Colour songs for early June, too. Working with such a different style of music with the band is forcing my musical awareness to develop in a new direction, making me think about music in a different way and to experiment with how I produce sound. The type of sound required by the bass line to a jazz song or a punk song, for example, is very different from the bass required in a piece by, oh, Tchaikovsky. (And thanks to all the gods that be for that.) Most of the technique I've learned over the past ten years has to be shoved to the back of my mind, because it produces a sound completely inappropriate to what we're playing. It's just another challenge.

Double Mailbox Joy

I got my acoustic pick-up in the mail today! (So much for being extra careful to instruct the seller by e-mail and written letter to contact me as soon as payment had been received and/or when the item shipped, so I'd know when to expect it. Does no one follow directions?)

And... I also got the cheque for finishing the Wicca book in the very same mailbox at the very same time!

You now what this means, of course. It means Serious Acoustic Amp Research, In Person.

Nice Going

Has anyone else noticed that in the TV ads for the Greatest American show that will be playing on Discovery next month, they misspell Steven Spielberg's name?

As In, 'Oh God, Oh God, We're All Going To Die' Interesting

We just watched the trailer for Serenity.

Oh, yeah. September 30th, we are so there.

(Thanks, Scott!)

Official!

The wait is finally over for the more than 30,000 fans who signed an online petition, and joined in the grass roots campaign to bring Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock back into their homes in a proper DVD release. HIT has officially stated that they are no longer considering season box sets - they are making them.

“Fraggle Rock – Season 1 Box Set” is due for release in fall 2005. At this time the exact release date, retail price, and disc specifications/features have not be finalized. They hope to have an official press release ready sometime this summer with all the details. HIT has yet to commit to producing box sets for seasons 2 through 5. They state that the future sets are likely, but will also depend on the success of the first season sets.

Read the whole news article at Muppet Central!

Of course, the Muppet Show DVD sets are still unconfirmed...

GRW Update #6

Total word count, green witch book: 31,235
Total words today: 2,803

31,235 / 60,000 (52.0%)

I rock like our rocking Mousme.

Oh, sure, I could write another two hundred words to pass 3K as a daily total, but really, it's not that important to me right now. Besides, I'm about seventy-five pages away from finishing Carpe Jugulum, and there's that millefeuille...

GRW Update: Halfway!

Total words so far, green witch book: 30,048
Total words today (so far): 1,616

30,048 / 60,000 (50.0%)

Woo-hoo!

I'm getting near the end of my rope, though, and my lower back is hurting (thank you, o office chair). I think I'll finish up this section, maybe type up the directions to something, and be done for the day. We have errands to finish anyhow.

On the Way To 30K

Nine hundred down. Six hundred to go.

It's going so slowly.

When Bassists Talk About Bass Lines

Bassist #1: "Are most of the bass lines to vocal songs really just the root of whatever chord the guitarist is playing? Because sure, it works musically, but wow, that's unimaginative."

Bassist #2: "What do you expect from someone who picked up guitar to play guitar, and only thinks of a bass as a guitar with too few strings to play chords? That’s why you usually can’t even tell the bass is there."

Except if you take away the bass line, everything goes unstable because the foundation is suddenly missing. You feel a bass line; you don't hear it. And no, I'm not talking about how high the amp is set; it's a subconscious recognition. If your bass line vanishes, the piece just feels wrong. Thus, it's highy ironic that most bass lines are written by guitarists or vocalists. Yes, the resulting bass line is solid, but it's usually not very interesting. A bass line written by a bassist will provide that basic support and foundation as well as adding the extra dimension of "enhancing the melody," as Bassist #2 put it later in the conversation.

Food for thought.

Yes, yes, I'm writing as well as getting philosophical about bass lines.

For He's a Jolly Good Fellow, Etc

Happy birthday, Dad!

That Kind Of Day

How to make an Owldaughter cocktail:

Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add sadness to taste! Do not overindulge!

Sigh. Even my cocktails are bland and reliable. Something with a little more oomph than a combination of success, leadership, a lesser amount of humour and "sadness to taste" might have been nice.

(Via Personality Cocktail.)

GRW Update #5

Total word count, green witch book: 28,432
Total words today: 1,520

Hey look, I broke a thousand yesterday!

The wordmeter says:

28,432 / 60,000 (47.0%)

which is actually 47.2%. Let's see if I can actually manage to hit 30K today.

Uh-Oh

And again, a headache drags me away from the monitor. At least I know this one's because of the pressure shifting outside. I will never understand why my head has been chosen to serve as a barometer.

So, a break, and then we'll see how I feel in an hour after Tylenol and a cuddle with a cat.

At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky to clock in at a bare thousand words today. I wanted to hit 30K. Oh, well.

Woo-hoo!

The final payment for my Wicca manuscript mailed at the end of last week, which means I'll have it this week sometime. Whew!

Now I really want that pick-up to arrive.

Another HRH Update For Those Waiting Breathlessly

1. He has a job.

2. Said job cannot start until funding has officially arrived in the company's bank account to pay the team.

3. The three-month contract for the playtest of this project will not officially begin until said money is in the bank account. This is good because it means that the team will have a full 90 days to accomplish the project no matter when it begins.

4. If this three-month contract goes well, the project will be extended for a year and a half.

Twins! ("But I'll Always Be Older," Said Raven)

I love my coven. I love our sister coven. Our dual ritual welcoming two new first degrees to the Clan yesterday afternoon was an absolute joy, and a lovely break from the everyday stresses that have really been draining me lately. It's fun to play with others sometimes. (And yes, it was a dual ritual, producing what one initiate termed "spiritual twins". Not a duel ritual, which was proposed before the candidates for initiation arrived: that way we'd only have to initiate the survivor. Interesting idea, but messy and requiring so much purification afterwards.)

As a gift from Raven, our coven's new initiate, we now have a four-inch thick, hand-made leather-bound coven book of shadows to fill. It's absolutely stunning. I have no idea where it will live. At the moment it's taking up half the altar and looking terribly impressive, but it's going to make it difficult to work. HRH wants to build a fancy wooden book stand for it and display it in the living room or something, once we've moved. Really, it looks like a refugee prop from a Harry Potter film. If you gave it teeth and fur, it would be a copy of Hagrid's text for Magical Creatures.

There were other presents, and lots of nibbly stuff (there's still one all-cream millefeuille in the fridge that's so very mine -- because, er, it has calcium in it, yes, and calcium is good for me), and fun and sharing.

(And for those of who who were present and may be wondering: the Guide finally did leave the building, but I think it wasn't until long after I went to bed. HRH was riding on that energy for hours and hours, and didn't get to sleep till three in the morning.)

*blink* *blink*

Wow.

I was just invited to be a guest at the Spirits of the Earth festival in early July, and to give a presentation. (Shelley Rabinovitch, how on earth do you know me? I stay terribly quiet in the Montreal Pagan community. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for your recommendation to the festival organisers; you honour me.)

I had to decline, of course; the timing is bad. But wow.

Besides, next year I'll have three books out instead of just one, and I'll be a much better draw for festival attendees. (And now allow me to freak out slightly about that fact, as well. Eep!)

Security Deposit Non-Refundable

The baby was throwing himself around so hard last night while we watched a movie that HRH could see my abdomen rippling and moving from across the room. "Good gods," he said in minor horror, "no wonder you ache."

Yeah. My uterus is our son's own private gym. You can pay me a monthly fee for the wear and stress on the workout equipment any time now.

Vancouver 2010

Colour me surprised, but this is actually kind of cool:

The 2010 Winter Olympics will feature a unique design of an inukshuk, a traditional stone sculpture used by Canada's Inuit people, as its official logo.

The winning logo, called Ilanaaq (el la nawk), was unveiled Saturday in Vancouver and was designed by local graphic designers Elena Rivera MacGregor and Gonzalo Alatorre.

[...] The logo boasts five stone-like formations in green, two in blue, and one in red and yellow. Two pillars serve as the legs in support of the body, a horizontal shape acts as the arm and an eagle is where the head would normally be.

[...]The different colours represent different regions of the country: the green and blues symbolize coastal forests, mountain ranges and islands. The red represents Canada's Maple Leaf and the yellow depicts the brilliant sunrises.

Even without the analysis and meaning behind it all, which I didn't have last night when I caught this on the news, it's a simple and elegant logo.

(Via CBC.)

Meh

I was off all day, out of sync with life in general from the moment I got up.

I couldn't hear or connect with what I was playing at rehearsal; couldn't properly hear or connect with what anyone else was playing; couldn't settle in and have fun the way I did last week. Maybe I was still riding the high from that successful and impressive first rehearsal, and was expecting this week to be as phenomenal. It seemed as if last week's dynamism was missing, which I suppose would naturally follow once the excitement of discovering that we were better than we'd feared had settled down, to be replaced by work. And today was definitely a day of work more than play: we were hacking things out, adding things, dropping things, trying new things out, and frankly, just trying to get through a song while remaining aware of how everything interlocked. We need solid basics before we start making the songs pretty or getting them up to speed (basics being who's playing what, when, at what time, and so forth). It's a slow process, but necessary. We can't do anything about dynamics either until everyone's got the proper equipment, so there's no point in even addressing overall balance. But it didn't help that I was feeling claustrophobic, dull, and lacklustre. Then again, that pretty much describes how I've felt overall for the past couple of days, so no big surprise.

And I'm trying very hard to psych myself up for a rather important ritual tomorrow, and I just don't have the energy (another excellent way to describe the past couple of days). I'm tired; I ache; and things are just gloomy.

Meh.

I do, however, have a stuffed turtle from Boston, courtesy of Lu.

Up Too Early On A Rainy Saturday

I was laid low by a migraine yesterday and robbed of my musical shopping experience. Went to bed at around noon and didn't get up until six; read, napped, stared at the wall wishing the Tylenol could do more than take an edge off the sharpness.

So naturally, I woke up at the stupid hour of 5.30 this morning because I'd had catnaps all yesterday afternoon. I've been making practice CDs for the band and listening to every one in order to make sure they work correctly. I'd much rather be drowsing in bed with HRH and all those cats, who, last I looked, are piled on that body pillow even with me not next to it. I can hear it now: "Gee, Mum, you're nice and warm and you're all cosy when you're under the covers, but this pillow's pretty soft all on its own..."

Meh. I've had my breakfast; maybe I'll make hot chocolate with real cocoa, real sugar, real... damn, there's no milk; never mind. I'll make a cup of tea (sigh) and find yet another book to read, because I finished the one I started yesterday morning.

Good Thing It's A Queen-Size Bed

Four words: New body pillow. Cats.

'Nuff said.

What They Don't Tell You

All the books and web sites tell you that as your pregnancy progresses, you'll have trouble putting your shoes on, and to get yourself a good pair of slip-ons because you won't be able to bend down to fiddle with buckles or ties.

No one tells you that putting your socks on becomes an even more difficult daily challenge. Because, you know, you have to bend over to pull them on even if you have slip-on shoes.

It's a good thing I'm going to be seven through nine months pregnant in the summer, when I can wear sandals and skip socks entirely, because I'm experiencing enough discomfort with this step at almost six months.

And is there a particular reason why this baby has jammed himself right up at the top of my abdomen? There's plenty of room below, but no, he wants to curl up with his entire back snuggled across the base of my ribcage.(This, no doubt, contributes to my difficulty in bending over. One wonders if he were lying lower if bending might be slightly easier for another few weeks.)

More Music Chatter

We had a lovely little visit with ai731 and t! last night, for they were in the area making musical purchases. Got to sigh over ai731's elegant new electrified acoustic with steel strings, which has an absolutely gorgeous bell-like tone that's bright enough to be heard, but that's still mellow and not tinny in the least; the same reason I prefer to string a harp with wire instead of nylon. t! walked in with the very same Ibanez bass practice amp I'd looked at semi-seriously when Ceri and I took a walk over to the shop a couple of days ago, and I was right: Ibanez is a bass specialist brand, which would explain why I heard that MLG's Ibanez practice amp for guitar is not the best-sounding of things. (Then again, it also came in a kit, which means the guitar itself is probably not of overly high quality either, and the quality of all elements involved is always reflected in sound.) "I will let you try it," t! said when I poked at it. I likes my friends; they share their toys.

Today, it's off to the music shops with the girls for more gifts, a look at drum stools, and the second stage of serious amp research. This time, I will be armed with a checklist of desired features plus actual brand names and model numbers to price, in preparation for a visit to try out the lucky finalists for sound with the cello once I've fitted it with that pick-up I'm waiting for.

Which means I ought to get myself in gear and get some writing done this morning, since this afternoon will be spent elsewhere. No procrastinating today. Writing first, play afterwards.

Redeemed

I no longer suck.

Total word count, green witch book: 26,912
Total words today: 1,779

Amazing what you can find to say about resins when talking about making your own herbal incense. I would have liked to have written another 200 words or so, just to have written 2K today, but dinner is ready.

The cheerful wordmeter says:

26,912 / 60,000 (44.0%)

A Passive Kind Of Day

I am fretful today. I just can't seem to settle down. I have no attention span, and almost no energy. It's odd. And vaguely irritating, because I wanted to be that much closer to 30K. Just -- no brain. Or rather, brain accepting input, but not producing output. Not even basic output like how to cut out and sew together a sachet.

Which means, of course, that I've added a grand total of about ten words to the book, although the file's been open all afternoon. I hang my head in shame.

To fill up those passive hours, however, I've been researching acoustic bass amps and such. Now that my brain is full of terminology, brands, prices, and features, I want to go look at them seriously. However, to do this requires a pick-up on one's instrument, and my pick-up will not be here until late next weekish, perhaps. Gnash.

Further HRH Updates

Things are "still going favourably."

But we're not counting chicks until the contract is signed on Saturday, after the developmental meeting at which his presence has now been officially requested. Salary negotations start tomorrow.

No chicks being slid along the abacus. Not yet. Not until the contact's in hand. But definitely, favourable development.

Happy Birthday!

It's the birthdate of Charlotte Bronte today, born in 1816.

The Writer's Almanac says:

in 1847, each [sister] had a book published: Anne's was Agnes Grey, Emily's was Wuthering Heights, and Charlotte's was Jane Eyre. Charlotte, considered the best writer of the three, introduced a new type of heroine to English fiction—an intelligent, passionate woman who refuses to accept the traditional role of female subservience. The book was a great success. Unfortunately, within the following year, Branwell, Emily, and Anne all died.

I howled. Yes, how dreadful that she produced a new type of heroine, and then her siblings all died the next year. Rather unfortunate paragraph formatting, that.

Delightful Morning

Really must remember to go out at some point and pick up a little can of compressed air to clean the fan in the computer. I'm becoming too accustomed to the louder whirr, which means I'll ignore it, and someday, poof -- no more fan. Which is, you know, rather detrimental to the operation of the computer I require in order to do my job.

Osteo early this morning, on the Cadillac bed that raises and lowers on its own via a foot pedal, in the morning sunlight. Delightful. Particularly since the doctor is pleased with the minimal misalignment that's occured over the past two weeks. Of course, had I gone to see her on Monday after sitting on hard wooden chairs that were two inches too high to play cello all day, it would have been a different story. I intend to look into adjustable and foldable (read: easily portable) drum stools on my next trip out to the music shops in order to avoid the lower back stress associated with awful cello seating. (No, a cushion doesn't help, because it just raises me further; it's not the hard that's the problem, it's the two inches too high.)

In her progress notes for yesterday, Elizabeth says:

New Words: 1010. I'll most likely kill them all in the morning.

I know the feeling. Although, a cautious look at yesterday's work assures me that the drastic rearranging and new writing wasn't as bad an idea as I was afraid it might have been when I woke up and thought about it at 1.30 AM in the dark. I must stop trying to come up with things I think should be in each chapter, and just go ahead and expand the point form outline for each paragraph or subject now. Otherwise, I'll run into the same over-limit problem that I ran into on the Wicca book -- about which, may I add, I stressed at 1.45 AM regarding potentially derivative content and ideas, right after I worried about yesterday's new writing. I am nothing if not an equal-opportunity stresser about my books. Must treat all the progeny fairly, after all.

HRH is drawing in the living room. It's been so, so long since he picked up a sketchbook and a pencil that I find I don't even mind that he has a movie on for inspiration while he drafts sample backgrounds. Yes, he's already prepping for this potential job, getting into the right headspace for the style (as vague as they're being about it), and I'm so very okay with that. Whether he gets it or not, he's drawing again.

And on the way home for osteo, I picked up lime water, and popcorn, and fresh tomatoes, and granola bars, so I'm all set for nibbling my way through the day while I work.

GRW Update #4

Total word count, green witch book: 25,133
Total words over the last two days: 3,072

I did a lot of moving things around and rearranging chapters in the past two days, and I relegated about five hundred words to the deleted file. But damn it, I was going to break 25K today if it killed me. Not that it was mind-breaking, just... long. And time-consuming, thanks to all that thinking and rearranging and such.

The little wordmeter tells me:

25,133 / 60,000 (41.0%)

which is really 41.9%; practically 42. And only 5K away from the halfway mark.

More Woo-Hoo!

HRH's EI snarl has been officially untangled!

Er --

HRH thanks everyone for their kind thoughts and support, but would like to point out that it was simply a good interview for a project in formation, not a solid job offer with confirmed salary and signed contract. He's currently in a holding pattern, which is driving him slightly mad, but at least he's excited and not depressed about his job situation as he's been for the past couple of weeks.

Update on the HRH Front

Okay:

The extended interview period was yes, a Good Thing.

HRH says to tell you all that it "went favourably." Which is, in my opinion, an understatement when the interviewer has said, "Well, unless someone even more god-like drops from the sky in the next day, I'm calling you tomorrow to be present at the development meeting this Friday." As of which time he'd be also be paid. Which is, you know, nice.

So. Many, many thanks, everyone, for your support! Further updates as events warrant.

Yay!

HRH has an interview this afternoon at 1.30!

Please to be thinking good thoughts and happiness and immediate contract offers. Working at whatever you do with crossed fingers would be helpful as well. (And amusing for you and your co-workers -- admit it.)

Enough

Errands have been run. Computer stuff has been done. A couple of hours of notes and research for the green witch book has been done. Some editing stuff has been done. Brain now officially off-line.

Beautiful, beautiful day outside. It was worth the longer time to run the errands.

23 Weeks and 4 Days

I'm short-waisted. This means I don't have a lot of room between my ribs and my pelvis. (Got long legs, though, which more than makes up for it.)

However, when carrying a baby, that also means there's not a heck of a lot of room between the pelvis and that ribcage. At least, until the abdomen begins to grow out more, and his head can rest more on top of my ribs instead of slightly under them. And even then, the bottom of my ribs will still be pressing against all those lovely squishy internal organs that are being moved out of the way to make room for the miraculous ever-expanding uterus.

Ugh.

It's uncomfortable to sit. The bucket seats in the car are particularly horrific. It's uncomfortable to lie down, because my ribcage drops a bit with the gravity. Pretty much the only thing that doesn't compress him is standing, and I can't stand all the time. Breathing is difficult when I sit as well, although when I lie down it's not as hard. I'm thankful that I know how to breathe properly, i.e. using the diaphragm to breathe from the bottom of my lungs, not the shallow lift-the-shoulders kind of breathing; otherwise, I'd probably spend most of my time very light-headed.

The baby/rib discomfort is a bit frustrating, because otherwise I feel fantastic. Well, okay; the regular enthusiastic head-butting of the ribcage isn't joyous, but at least I know he's alive in there. He quiets down when I play the cello, because the back of the instrument lies right against where his head is. He seems to love it. Since the weather got really warm really fast, I've started wearing the lighter more form-fitting maternity tops instead of looser knit shirts and sweaters, and everyone in chamber orchestra now definitely knows I'm pregnant! There was much whispering around the snack table (which I don't visit at break) last Wednesday, fielded wonderfully by the woman who sits directly behind me in the celli, bless her, who had spoken to me about it earlier. And if they didn't catch it in the previous two weeks, they know as of the concert itself, where I wore my lovely sleek black long-sleeve top and long black skirt, which definitely show off the baby! A few orchestra people have come up and congratulated me, which has been mostly lovely because I've been in the mood for it. Not so much the lecturing about how it will change my life, though, which I've only heard from two people there so far.

Last week, my grandmother sent me a lovely little pair of booties that she'd knitted, which are totally precious. The idea of having a room in which we can slowly begin to build up a collection of baby stuff is becoming more and more attractive.

Sunday Music

Last night's concert was excellent -- very tight. Fantastic work from everyone, particularly our section of Cello-Playing Mice. When things go well, the evening always flys by and the two hours are over before I know it. Although my legs falling asleep from the wooden chair being just a smidge too high were a definite indication of time passing. Halfway through the symphony in the second half, I rearranged my legs so that they were stretched to the left and crossed at the ankles instead of feet flat on the floor, one knee on either side of the cello. Unorthodox, but it helped for a bit. Thanks again to everyone who came out -- it always means a lot to me.

The Random Colour meeting was terrific as well, particularly since we ended up working out music not once but twice for one song, and acing the second (up until the part where we have to modulate at the bridge, that is; we decided to work on that at home since I had to flee to eat and change for the other concert). I'm impressed with how well we worked together, particularly for those who'd never played with others before (or played their instrument!). The girls have decided that bowing the cello sounds pretty darned cool in the second song we worked, so I'll mess about with that in the other songs at home to see what happens.

Good thing we'd casually looked at amps and pick-ups earlier, because as soon as Ceri started tuning her sax both the stringed instruments realised that we'd need to amp simply in order to be heard. My inexpensive cello pick-up is already on order; I doubt it will be here for the next rehearsal this weekend, but then, I won't have an amp either, so that's fine. I won't be able to get the baby amp, either, until HRH's EI snarl gets worked out, which, gods willing, will be this week. The girls are meeting every weekend from now till Invisible's mid-June concert in order to really ace a couple of songs; we have less time than they did for their first gig, and we've chosen harder songs (enthusiastic overacheivers that we are).

Today: errands; more edits; some green witch work.

On Mice And A Dynamic Smorgasbord

I had a lovely afternoon lazing about yesterday, napping and reading all of He Shall Thunder In The Sky by Elizabeth Peters (yeah, I hit a second-hand bookstore on the way home and picked up two more Egyptian archaeological mysteries). I figured I deserved it after the agony of the copy-edits so far, and the incredible amount of hard work we did at yesterday's three-hour dress rehearsal.

It never ceases to amaze me how awful our sound is simply from rehearsing in that cavern of an auditorium at the high school. When we get the chamber orchestra into a cosy, intimate space like the church we're playing at tonight, the sound is just a mush of everything -- no finesse, no control. And it's a direct result of not being able to (a) hear ourselves, and (b) hear the other sections in rehearsal. So a lot of the dress consists of refining dynamics, as well as practicing transitions. (Overheard from the second violin section during the Schubert scherzo: "This is a dynamic smorgasbord.") The entire cello section (those of us who care, anyway) are now officially Playing Like Mice most of the time. I'm serious -- a couple of us wrote "MICE" at the top of a couple of sheets of music to remember that we have to whisper and create the most delicate of small sounds. And this in a mf passage. You see how mouse-like we have to be? (And that's mouse-like, not Mouse-like; if we were Mouse-like we'd be those rampaging fuzzy-elephant-kitten types who romp through the Schubert scherzo in the style of my little grey-brown tabby cat.)

So yes, concert tonight. But first, a couple of hours with the Random Colour girls, where we will see what happens when we try to commit music with little to no idea of key signatures or actual notes associated with the songs. Should be... interesting. This is probably going to be very good for me, as it will strengthen my improv skills and wean me away from a slavish over-reliance on printed music.

First-Line Defence

Woman beats off burglar with gnome

Friday, April 15, 2005 Posted on CNN.com: 1100 GMT

LONDON, England (AP) -- A grandmother stopped an intruder from entering her home by lobbing a heavy garden gnome at him, police said Friday.

Jean Collop was woken early on Tuesday morning by the sound of an intruder on the roof of her home in Wadebridge, southwest England.

"I grabbed the first thing that came to hand -- one of my garden gnomes -- and hurled it at him, and hit him," she recalled.

"He lay there and I began to scream. I went back into the kitchen and found a rolling pin in case he came down. I didn't want to break another gnome."

I love that it's important to mention that her second choice was the rolling pin, because she didn't want to damage another gnome. That's really what makes this bit of journalism perfect.

Via BoingBoing.

Reality

It occurs to me that a grocery run must be made, or we're not eating tonight. Or the next night. Or the one after that, really.

Break!

Writing Pretty

Elizabeth Bear talks about the art of crafting "sharp, memorable prose" here:

Because it is, after all, not about not doing things wrong. It's about doing things right.

That's what keeps them entertained. And persuaded to come back again.

Plus she uses the words Love, Blood, and Rhetoric in her argument, which endears her to me even more.

Copy-Edits

Have I mentioned, perhaps, how much I dislike working through copy-edited revisions? It's a chore. You go through the MS page by page, looking at the tiny little changes the copy-editor has made, making sure they're right. When you come up against a query, the mind goes blank, because of course you know what you meant; why are they asking you to clarify? So you have to rephrase it in a fashion that says the same thing in a different way.

It's boring, but you have to remain alert and responsive.

It's similar to the line-edit revisions, except that there's a lot less of them. That means I run into fewer walls and less frustration, but it's also more dangerous because the boredom leads to inattention, which in turn leads to missed edits. Line edits are a lot harder: they make me growl more and say things to my monitor, and push my chair away from my desk and walk away with my hands pressed to my temples to prevent my head from exploding. Copy edits are nowhere near that bad. They're just... boring. There's nothing creative about them. (Not that there's much that's creative to line edits either, but there's more going on there to keep me focused.)

This isn't the type of bored I can fix by going for a walk or reading a book or playing a game, either; it's work, and it has to be done.

Topsy-Turvy

The damn kid's turned himself around. It's his head that's been whacking into my right rib.

No wonder I've started carrying higher in the past week.

I wonder when in the past seven days he decided to experience the world right-way-up, instead of upside down as he was before. And I wonder how long he'll stay like this.

Tal!

I received a phone call from Tal out in California yesterday afternoon, which made my day! I'd actually had a draft of an email for him open most of the afternoon, adding a few words now and again while I edited, so when he called it was wonderful to just tell him everything I'd been writing down in the first place. It was so good to just chat with him. When he's in town, I don't see him frequently (really, do I see anyone frequently?), but now that he's on the other side of the continent I miss him terribly. I'm like a cat who desperately wants to be on the other side of the door, just because it's closed. Truly pathetic. However, unlike a cat, I will not ignore him when he gets back.

Still working on the copy edits. Sigh.

Tentative Sigh Of Relief

The copy editor doesn't hate me. She is terribly professional, unlike the last one who went on a half-page rant about a spell.

Feeling more confident.

Insert Heavenly Choir Here

Oh. My. Gods.

Just checked the word count on the copy-edited Wicca MS, and over those two insanely (over?)focused line edits we've managed to whittle it down to 74K. That's almost a full 10K off what I originally handed in over quota on March 7.

However, so help me, o ye same gods, if anyone says to me, "We need another ten to twenty pages to fill this out, can you write some more material?"

Back to skulking through the copy-edits, fearfully peeking around the corners of pages, anticipating a severe ego-thrashing at every turn. Although I'm at page 44 of 275 and things have been good so far. I am cautiously optimistic.

Writing With Training Wheels?

John Scalzi with an interesting view of fanfic's pros and cons:

As a writer, I also have no opposition to fanfic. I understand that many writers who write fanfic have no real ambition to be writers aside from the specific fanfic they write -- it's a slightly more intellectual version of playing with dolls, and therefore its own end, and it doesn't really matter what the quality is. For the fanfic writers who do actually want to be writers, I think there are advantages and disadvantages.

The advantages are that you're writing in an established universe with established characters whose qualities and failings are well known to you; all you have to do is plug them into a situation and play the changes. It's easier than coming up with something whole cloth -- and therefore arguably an easy way to play with the mechanics of writing since the story comes partially built. It's writing with training wheels.

The disadvantage is the same: You're working in someone else's universe, and there's only so far you can go with that. Eventually you're going to have to leave the safe sandbox of the Federation or the New Republic or Buffy. Since I don't write fan fiction, I don't know how difficult that is. There's also the issue that since no one will buy fanfic except under extremely rare circumstances (for obvious copyright reasons), writers playing in the fanfic world deprive themselves of a necessary step in any writers' evolution: Working with editors.

As I've stated before, no, I'm not a fanfic writer, but the subculture fascinates me intellectually.

And yes, I'm work-avoiding. See me avoid. Avoid, avoid, avoid. I avoid, you avoid, one avoids; nous avoidons, vous avoidez, ils avoident...

Have You Met My Cricket-Mouse, Sir?

Our conductor, on doing the Scherzo from the Schubert symphony no. 6 last night one last time after playing through the entire programme:

"This has to be gentle and playful. Kittens. Think kittens playing."

My thought? (Unvoiced, of course.)

"Geez, you really don't know my kittens, do you."

But that opening phrase, while gentle and playful, is then echoed in a galumphing sort of way, which is where I envision my herd-of-fuzzy-elephant kittens coming into the musical equation to destroy the dainty innocence created thus far, and all's well.

Sunday night's concert is going to be rather enjoyable, I think. If I can keep from cracking up when we play that bit of the Scherzo, that is.

Farewell, World, For Another Unforeseen Amount Of Time

Yes, the copy edits on the Wicca book came back to me.

Send chocolate.

Later: Or Vanilla Coke. That would do as well. I haven't worked on writing with a Vanilla Coke by my side in, oh, ages. My corner store doesn't carry it.

Even Later: Did you know that they've finally released a non-diet Coke with Lime? I saw it being delivered to the gas station yesterday. I was irked when I found that the lime version was a diet-only thing; it tasted OK, but I still can't get around the chemical taste of diet sodas (Which is different and less tasty than the chemical taste of regular soda. Just to be fair.) So mmm; looking forward to trying it.

More Clothes That Fit!

I have three new maternity tops! A white blouse, a blue sweater, and a lilac short-sleeve knit top. And again, all of them were on sale!

Hurrah!

Amusing

Comment found on Jump the Shark, as regards The Muppet Show (which, by the way, most agree did not jump the shark):

I don't know what Kermit and the gang are doing now days, but Electric Mayhem musician Janis is now appearing in major motion pictures under the pseudonym "Gwyneth Paltrow".

Stereotypes

Yesterday I had one of my reasons for not making A Grand Public Announcement concerning the pregancy reaffirmed for me. Ceri said something she thought was humourous about keeping a journal so that I could eventually serve the Newt a guilt trip about much pain and anguish he had caused me, and I said flatly that no, I wasn't, because there have been no problems, and I really don't find comments like that concerning the stereotype of pregnancy like that amusing. I mentioned something along the same lines to t! a couple of weeks ago, and he apologised immediately for something he'd said (yeah, I know) and said he'd stop.

I really don't have any patience when it comes to dealing with other people's ideas of "funny" or "caring" when it comes to a situation that has been highly stereotyped. Pregnancy is one such situation; menstruation is another. I remember verbally lambasting a male friend in our early twenties when he made a backhanded remark about a woman likely being bitchy because she was having her period. (Firstly, because of the shock I felt at his descent into not-thinking-and-now-defaulting-to-stereotype mode, and secondly because I knew the woman in question wasn't menstruating at the time.) Yes, some women use the existence of a stereotype associated with situations such as this as an excuse to complain and generally make people's lives miserable, or to invite pity, or to evoke some other sort of response which they find empowering in some way. A few even have real reasons for it. But don't assume I'm everyone else, or assign to me the popular perception of a state like pregnancy. Never, ever lump me in with the lowest common denominator, or an average, or a democratic majority. I try to not do it to you; please do me the courtesy of not doing it to me. Even if you think it's funny.

I refuse to succumb to the stereotype of pregnancy, or to allow friends to succumb to it, because stereotypes and their use irritate the hell out of me. The people who adopt them and apply them do it so they don't have to think, or default to them out of ignorance. And by know you know how I feel about people who are too lazy to think for themselves. My immediate circle of close friends consists of intelligent people whom I trust to not fall into the use of stereotype, and for the most part, they don't. I cannot, alas, say the same of my general acquaintance.

Hence one of the reasons why this knowledge hasn't been widely disseminated. I'm pregnant, not ill or leprous or incapable. My IQ hasn't descended. My arms and legs still work too. I want people to still treat me as a person, not someone different simply because I'm serving as a human incubator as well as a writer, editor, teacher, best friend, cellist, whatever have you. Being pregnant changes nothing about me except for the fact that I have to sit down more frequently, and eat more often. It hasn't affected my mind, or my life philosophy, or the way I think and dream and behave in any way other than the acquisition of any new information or experience changes someone. Okay, yes; it's going to put a bit of a cramp in my social life and availability around August for a bit, but apart from that, I'm still who I was before you knew I was pregnant.

My immediate circle has, in general, been very very good with this knowledge. And if they do slip into stereotype, even with the intention to be amusing, I point it out to them and they promise to stop. So far, so good. Thanks, everyone; it means a lot to me.

Computer Update

Photoshop has completely vanished. Completely. Except for the shortcuts. I wonder if it was on the SCSI drive, which would make no sense whatsoever because I install all my programs on the C or the D partition.

My firewall went wonky and seized control of my internet this morning, because it thought it had been hacked as a result of the changes we made to the system. I went through the whole sequence of renaming of the internet logs file and doing a clean reinstall of the program, and now it's behaving.

I wonder what's next.

Glory Be --

-- they've decided that the deadline for the green witch book is to be July 1.

July 1. That's a full month after the deadline we'd been tossing back and forth, the date I'd been scheduling against. I weep with gratitude. What with the insanity of packing for the move, and the move itself at the end of May, I was seeing my own personal deadline creep up to around May 15 in order to complete the project with some amount of control. Now I don't have to stress; I can work on it as I need to, take the last weekend in May off, and come home, set up the computer, finish the last bits in the first two weeks of June, then polish over the last two weeks of that month.

Writing karma is good. I turn things around in record time on the Wicca book; I get a month extension on my revised green witch deadline.

Plus I slept well. Must have been yesterday's exercise.

Outings

Ceri and I went out and ran errands yesterday,and the only thing I managed to buy for myself the entire afternoon while we were together was a guitar pick. A nice, thick, felted pick that cost a whole $0.95, which, as Ceri informed me and I saw by the posted prices on all the bins, is expensive for a pick. I'm used to my accessories costing anywhere from $30 up, so something that's less than a dollar feels like a real steal to me. At dinner last night, someone asked why I bought it. Well, I have a suspicion that when I play regular pizz under the other Random Colour girls' instruments and vocals, no one's going to hear anything, so I thought a pick might help focus the sound. We'll find out on Sunday.

I was also scouting out prices of acoustic instrument amplifiers (for a similar reason, see above), and I really, really hate salespeople who automatically pull out the most expensive thing they have on the shelf and tell you that it's the exact product you need because it has the best sound and every other product on their shelves is crap. I'm sorry, this isn't my livelihood, nor is it even a major hobby investment. I refuse to pay over one hundred and fifty dollars for something I only intend to mess around with to see what happens. All I want is an inexpensive pick-up with which to experiment. Sure, you get what you pay for, but I'm in this for fun once every couple of weeks, not professional profit.

I did, however, have lots and lots of fun buying musical gifts for someone else. And I picked up some blank music manuscript paper in prep for this Sunday's rehearsal, just in case, because I can't find mine.

We also found a lovely cafe which makes real hot chocolate -- the bitter kind. It was heavenly. I will definitely return there at some point.

Computer Joy

Hurrah! Blade will be here in only half an hour to rip out the SCSI and optical drives from the guts of my computer, and install my lovely new 80 gb hard drive and CD drive.

Why? Well, the SCSI is only recognised sometimes, which is remarkably heart-stopping (although I finally transferred all my document files off it and onto the other hard drive to preserve my sanity). The main hard drive, which is a mere 10 or 12 gb, is almost full, though. Blade and I figure that an 80 gb drive should last me for another three years or so. The current CD drive runs off the SCSI protocol, so it too is being replaced. What fun!

Plus we promised to feed him. HRH's very yummy fajitas are on the menu -- mmmm.

It occurs to me that I ought to make a backup CD of those precious document files.

Chamber Orchestra Concert Reminder

Yes, I do more than worry about being the bass player in an all-girl band; I also obsess about that wretched passage of thirty-second notes in the Rossini Pas de Six that my chamber orchestra is playing.

That same chamber orchestra is performing our annual Spring Concert in Pointe-Claire this Sunday night.

Location: Valois United Church, 70 Belmont (corner King) Pointe-Claire

Date and Time: Sunday April 17 at 19h00 (yes, that's this Sunday)

Admission: $10 (free for 18 and under)

Programme: "Tancredi" Overture, Rossini
Sonata in E minor for Cello and String Orchestra, Vivaldi (soloist: Violaine Brochu)
"Les Petits Riens" ballet music, Mozart
"William tell" Pas de Six, Rossini
Symphony No. 6 in C, Schubert

STM travel info
Mapquest
Bribing your favourite driver with paying their admission is always good too.

GRW Book Update #3

Total word count, green witch book: 22,061
Total words today: 2,502

Yes, I'm still working with 2.5K as a daily goal; why mess with it now? It worked through November and the Wicca book, after all. And the more I can get done now, the less I'll stress closer to deadline, and the more I can play with and polish the final product in the latter half of May/early June when packing, moving, performing, and a book launch all have to happen.

The little wordmeter bar says:

22,061 / 60,000 (36.0%)

And it's actually 36.7%. Ha. I suppose my next big goal is 30K, which is the halfway mark.

Moments of Calm

A small bowl of fresh strawberries, ripe cantaloupe, and just a sprinkling of sugar.

Two boxes (two!) full of fun books and research books just arrived.

And HRH just left to go pick up groceries, so I can actually have a half-hour of cello practice. Thank the gods.

Warning

I think I'm on the verge of going anti-social again. There's simply too much to schedule in the next eight weeks and it's stressing me out.

Since I didn't really get a chance to implement the anti-social lockdown at the end of March because of the revenant book, I suspect it's remarkably close on the horizon.

First Words

HRH: Oh, you're up. How are you today?

I: Things still suck. But today I have more of a sense of humour about it.

GRW Book Update #2

Total word count, green witch book: 19,559
Total words today: 3,971

I wanted to break a total of 20K, I really did. And it would have been nice to complete a full 4K words today. But I'm exhausted; I've spent the past two hours saying, "Hey, it's only another 500 words to [insert a thousand word mark here], and finding something new to write about (mostly recipes). So when I reached 19.5K, I just kind of said, "Enough is enough with the 'it's only another 500 words to 20K'," because I was fed up with scanning the manuscript for yet another place to expand a note by 500 words. I had a great day, though. I sort of enjoy writing on Saturdays; it feels like fun instead of work, simply because it's Saturday.

The wordmeter bar is encouraging:

19,559 / 60,000 (32.0%)

Spring Firmly In Place

The bulbs at the new place are about three inches high already. Tulips? Daffodils? Iris? We'll find out in around a month.

And once we've moved in we'll be planting flats of pansies and such in the garden bordering the walkway, and window boxes of white and red geraniums and sweet alyssum for the front balcony. There's a huge iron hook above the patio doors in the living room, so we'll hang something lovely and cascading there to help with privacy (more red geraniums, most likely). There will be a window box or two of herbs for me on the back deck. Peppers, tomatoes, onions and such in the backyard. Maybe peas on a frame, because I love garden-fresh peas although there never seem to be many on a vine. Perhaps even cucumbers in a contained space.

You see what writing the green witch book is doing to me?

Kick, Kick, KICK

Earlier this week, I got the first real kick in the ribs.

Well, now he doesn't stop.

This baby keeps kicking the heck out of me, right under my right ribs. The upshot of this (no pun intended) is that it forces me to sit up straight instead of slouching. For a while, anyway, until he realises that he then has even more room in which to stretch out, and proceeds to use it. Bruises on the inside, I tell you. No wonder I ache. This activity is particularly disconcerting after one has eaten. Even if it was just a couple of pieces of toast and some juice.

It happens a lot when I'm sitting at the computer, and when I'm lying down in bed at night reading. HRH may actually be reaching the point where he stops asking me if everything's okay when I jump.

Good Morning!

Slept bee-you-ti-fully. Hung out with cool people last night who made me laugh and laugh. Cuddled a five-month-old with the most killing look of wisdom on his face. Got gifties (thank you, Karine and Adam!). Picked up a new 80 GB hard drive and a CD optical drive to further update my computer. Did I mention that I slept well?

Green witch work today, because yesterday's progress was so minimal that I didn't even post it.

And it's lovely out, which means a walk later on. Possibly to the secondhand bookstore, although in bed I started reading a Laurie King mystery that had been on my shelf for two years; now I'm out of the Amelia Peabody groove and into a Mary Russell headspace, which has temporarily staunched the need for more Egyptian archaeological mystery. It's all set just after the turn of the twentieth century, anyway.

Circles

I can't seem to settle down.

I made a few green witch notes. I did a bit of half-hearted research. I organised my weekend schedule and have precise directions on how to get wherever I'm going. I have a precise list of the computer parts I need to buy. I've handled email and caught up on news.

Moved money around in accounts. Decided to sit down to read for an hour, only to discover that I finished my last archaeology mystery last night, and that's still what I'm in the mood to read (on a roll, after all, having read three in a row). Decided to go to the secondhand bookstore around the corner to check for the next one. Discovered I haven't enough money in my wallet. Thought about going to the bank counter to withdraw money to afford said book, and perhaps a soda. Decided against it, because it would take too much time out of my day right now, which should be focused on writing.

So I made a few more notes.

Honestly, this has been my day so far: a bunch of little things, with not much concrete progress on anything. Circles. I'm a bit restless. I've eaten; I've snacked. Maybe I should lie down for a bit, or just walk around the block (although I tend to come back from those thinking it was a waste of time because nothing has changed). Perhaps I shall play live Metallica loudly. Or the Random Colour test playlist.

The lie-down has merits. Half an hour of that, then the playlist and some just-sit-down-and-write-out-thoughts-no-matter-how-poorly-they're-phrased kind of writing in the green witch MS.

Because Although I Have A Sense of Humour, I Am Also A Realist

Holly Black, co-creator of the recently-read Spiderwick Chronicles and Tithe, has put together an amusing but evil list of issues and situations for a first-time author about which to stress here. (And really, you can stress about it any time, no matter how many books and/or pieces of writing you've published.)

#1 has happened to me. Twice, with the same contract.

I suspect #6 may have a touch of truth to it.

#15 I managed to avoid on book #1.

#16, alas, is true for book #2.

#40 I have avoided, but only by two weeks (and counting). And someone else would have to handle the final copyedits on the Wicca book.

#41-2 do not apply, thank goodness, as my contracts have operated on the flat-fee thing so far (an advance/royalties arrangement may be a possibility in the future; it's being batted about).

#45: take my Roman, please...

Feeling Better Now

Thank you, lady, for settling my stomach and soothing my out-of-proportion anxiety.

Coffee. Soon. On me.

Crisis of personal integrity possibly being tarnished over. The day can resume. Or begin, really.

In Which Thursday Is Recapped, And She Reveals Her Obsession Regarding Personal Integrity

I woke up at a stupid hour again this morning. Of course, Maggie-Cat was crumpling some paper on the dresser, but I woke up-woke up; not "just sort of kind of" woke up, but all the way, bang, at once, the kind of waking up that is not followed by back-to-sleepage. I have no idea how much longer I'd've slept if Maggie hadn't decided to undertake her dresser-top tidying job, but judging by how awake I am, probably not much longer.

We began watching our new Firefly DVDs last night. Thank you again, Vedhalwyn!

I discovered this morning that an item of certain information I possessed concerning a situation did not, in fact, come from the person I thought it had come from, and has been clarified for me as being false. This freaks me out, because I handed this info to someone else in concern for an individual involved. I hate spreading rumours, and now I'm trying to figure out exactly who originally gave me the info so that I can track it back to figure out what the hell happened, and/or set the record straight back that way as well. This type of thing really upsets me because I know how dangerous the game of broken telephone can be. The good thing is I'm relieved to know the information is false, so I'm not as worried any more. Except it doesn't make up for the feeling of having given one person false information and possibly upsetting the other person involved; that's worrying me now instead. I'm going to obsess about this all day now, I can tell. Argh. And I can't figure out if that's what's making my stomach upset or if it's the lack of breakfast, which I really don't feel like eating. Not even tea. (And this isn't even a major life-threatening sort of snip of information, or a secret, or anything like that. Seriously; can you imagine what I'd be like if this was huge? Gods, life would be so much easier if I had no personal integrity. And no, this has nothing to do with that prior situation where I muttered darkly about the lack of personal integrity on the part of others, although that instance also illustrates how highly I value personal integrity.)

I saw the osteopath yesterday, and left in more pain than I'd arrived with. Spent most of the afternoon in bed reading or napping, because I slept really badly the night before as well. The afternoon of lying down really helped the lower back recover, though, and by last night things were better than they had been pre-osteo. Better than they would have been had I sat at the computer all day, anyway, which would have exacerbated the problem.

We signed for that duplex last night, and we'll be moving in on the last weekend of May. Hurrah! Now I just have to schedule the green witch book in such a way that I'm not in a major crunch around then. It's due June 1, and I usually visit my parents during a move; so I'd like it to be well and truly done before I leave, bring my laptop and a copy of the MS on disk along with me to double-check and triple-proof it before I get home again, set up the desktop, and submit it.

Today: more green witchiness. Assuming I can move past the obsessing.

Stretch!

This is one of those days where I can just feel myself growing.

Oof.

Also feeling slightly guilty for having a very average, normal, no-problems pregnancy so far. Thankful, of course, and cheerful, but slightly guilty.

GW Book Update #1

Total word count, green witch book: 15,588
Total words today: 1,024

Now I'm going to switch back to researching. I like how the book is shaping up in my mind.

And of we use the funky little wordmeter thingy that I discovered via both Emily and Elizabeth on Saturday, progress looks like this:

15,588 / 60,000 (25.0%)

Time Didn't Flow This Quickly When I Was A Kid

Is it possible that Invisible's One Night Only show was a month ago already? (Okay, a month yesterday, but nit-picking when I'm trying to be magnaminous to my psyche today is Not Allowed.)

I know March kind of evaporated on me what with deadlines and edits and edits yet again, plus an Easter weekend away, but really.

So when's the next one, gentlemen?

Content

My, but it's nice to sit down in the morning looking forward to working on a book. I'd forgotten what that's like. I'd forgotten it could even happen, actually.

Gnash

The accountant who did our taxes last year has given up on them this year. Mine, he says, he cannot do (I have no idea why; he said he had to get special forms and couldn't understand what to do with them, which confuses me because he did both our taxes last year which both included freelance work and had no problems). HRH's have resulted in a different oddity: he says that the provincial government didn't take taxes off his EI payments so he owes them over $500 (equally confusing, because EI is a federal thing and the province has nothing to do with it). He is humble, and apologises, and isn't charging us for the time he took to try to do them and figure out that he couldn't pull it off.

Good thing.

So he's giving us the number of a government office who hands out the appropriate tax forms for my taxes, and I suppose we'll take them to H&R Block or some such place, because this makes the second accountant in a row to mess up our taxes, and if they can't do it, there's no way we'll be able to ourselves.

Annoying.

Sequence? What Is Sequence? We Do Not Understand This Concept

This morning, I woke up and thought it was Saturday.

Enough, already.

Sigh of Relief

The eighty pages of the poor set-aside green witch MS that I just read are good. It's solid stuff. It's mostly history and philosophy and lifestyle stuff, which is fine and all useful.

Although I dictated most of it using my dictation software and headset, and the way some words were interpeted is a riot. "Expect you're it" for "expectorant" in the herbalism section and the like. Terribly amusing.

I'm going to be able to jump in and begin work on the other chapters that have been going round my brain in the past couple of days. Thank goodness.

Chicken

I've been working on the green witch book for the past three days, making notes, writing paragraphs longhand for various topics, brainstorming about the new approach, writing out new plans and drafting new outlines, doing bits of reading to inspire me... in all, I'd have to say I've spent about as much time on it per day as I was spending working on the Wicca book. I want to have the new approach really solid in my mind before I get down to actually writing new content again. And this time, I want a point-by-point outline of each chapter.

But I still haven't opened the existing document to read the 15K of material I wrote last fall.

I'm such a coward. What if I don't like it? What if it's unsalveageable? What if it's twee, or snobby, or condescending?

I'm the queen of "it's easier to rewrite than to write new material", so why am I dragging my little chicken claws on this one?

Schedules

It's Tuesday.

Not Wednesday.

I had this problem yesterday as well. Except then, I thought it was Tuesday. Which is most likely why I think today is Wednesday.

We have three people stopping by today at different times. I must remember that. Perhaps I ought to scribble it on a sticky note and slap it on my monitor. Otherwise, I will keep being surprised when they show up, and probably increasingly irritated, too. (I could always put another sticky note that reads "TUESDAY", but I honestly don't know if that would help.)

Can I just say how much I love Elastica's "Stutter"? This is going to be a riot.

More enjoyable green witch work today. And I've been informed that the copy edits of the Wicca book are due back to me on April 14, which means I'll have had two blessed weeks without it.

Baby Day

The sandwiches HRH and I had last night upset both our stomachs, so I think the sandwich meat might have been a bit off. When I got up at the insane hour this morning, I thought that a cup of tea would be lovely. I got halfway through it and put it aside, because all of a sudden it tasted bad. I ate a few crackers and had some water, and eventually went back to bed to read for a bit until it was time to go out.

Originally, I'd planned to run errands this morning, but with the lack of sleep and the upset tummy I asked HRH if he'd mind driving me instead. So out we went. I finally found maternity bras that fit properly (again, thank all the gods for Thyme!), which was one of the main reasons for going out. I was also looking for another sweater, because apart from four or five t-shirts I only have two tops. Didn't find a sweater, but I did get the long full black skirt I'd coveted two months ago on sale, a black floaty short-sleeve top on sale, and flowy black pants that will be ideal for the summer concert. Voila -- a smart-looking mix and match set. Yay me.

Everything else came up empty, though. I was looking for a YA book with a very distinctive cover that I'd seen prominently displayed in Oakville both in the new releases section and face-out somewhere at the beginning of the alphabetized shelves. I thought that with such a distinctive cover, I'd find with no problem here. The title and stuck in my mind for all of a half-day, and I forgot to write it down. Well, I've found it nowhere so far, and I'm rather annoyed.

The tour through the baby equipment section at Toys'r'Us was useless too, as they didn't stock either of the strollers I wanted to look at. They did have the aquarium print edition high chair, playpen, and infant bounce seat from Fisher-Price on display, though, which amused the heck out of me when I saw it in real life. The fish make me laugh. They're so much cooler than bears or bunnies or stars. (What's with the ruffles on high chairs? Seriously, they're just mush-magnets. Cleaning them must be a nightmare.)

I spent a lot more time in the maternity shop than I'd expected to, though, so I was really tired out by the time HRH brought me home. He went off to do more renovation work, and I curled up to read, and ended up napping. Sure, it catches up on the sleep I lost this morning, but I hope it doesn't really mess up my sleep tonight.

We're Smart, Of Course We Read

Or should that be, "Of Course We're Smart, We Read"?

Study examines Canadian book-buying habits

TORONTO - Canadians spent almost as much money on books as they did on buying newspapers and watching movies in 2001, according to a government-funded report issued Thursday.

The statistical report, which analyzes data gathered during the 2001 census, showed that 48 per cent of all Canadian households bought books, spending a total of $1.1 billion on them.

Though a greater percentage of Canadian households spent money on newspapers (63 per cent) and movies (61 per cent), the total amount spent on each category was similar to that spent on books: overall spending on newspapers and movies amounted to $1.2 billion each.

By comparison, Canadians spent $451 million on live sporting events.

About three quarters (76 per cent) of Canada's highest-income households (earning $100,000 or more) spent money on books, compared to about one quarter of those in the lowest-income bracket (earning $20,000 or less). However, these low-income buyers spent much more of their total household income on books – the $111 they spent amounted to five times more, comparatively, than the $282 spent on average by high-income households.

The report also revealed that:

* There is only a small difference in the number of households that spend money on books based on where people live: 50% of people living in large cities buy books; 44%, in small cities; 45% in rural areas.
* Households that are active or spend money on other arts and leisure activities – like the performing arts, museums or sporting events – are more likely to buy books.
* Those with children are more likely to spend money on books but households without children spend more money on average and in total.
* Book spending across Canada increased by 23 per cent between 1997 and 2001.

The authors of the report said, however, that their findings don't necessarily reflect the total number of readers in Canada. "There are many ways to enjoy books without spending money on them, such as borrowing from libraries or friends," the report read.

Compiled by Hill Strategies Research Inc., the report was funded by the Canada Council for the Arts, the Department of Canadian Heritage and the Ontario Arts Council.

So as a nation, we buy a lot of books; but we probably read even more than the ones we buy so these numbers could be even more impressive. Very cool.

Via CBC Arts.

Baby Room; Baby Things

It just occurred to me that as of late May, we'll have a baby room to decorate.

What a lovely thought.

Up until now, it's been one of those things we haven't even allowed ourselves to think about, like a registry or a want-list of equipment, because we have nowhere to put Baby Stuff in our current apartment. In the new place, however, not only do we have a garage (storage! studio! laundry room! baby-mover parking!) but an under-stair storage area (which requires only a padlock to make totally secure), a huge open kitchen/dining area with room for a big table and a high chair too, and -- yes -- an actual baby's room.

It's nice to be able to think about these things now. Before, there really wasn't a point, because if we put together a list people would just start buying things for us, or we would no doubt find things on sale and want to bring them home. My in-laws already don't like the three or five boxes we're storing in their basement, so there was no question of storing baby stuff there; besides, we'd just have to move it anyway when we relocated. And then there was HRH's intense school thing and my insane book thing from January through March, both of which necessitated total focus. Now that those are in the past, it's nice to allow ourselves to dream and talk and plan.

It was good for us, I think, because now we have the leisure in which to do it properly, and the timing of it is more appropriate as well. I've never understood people who rush out and redecorate a room for their future baby in the first trimester, or accumulate tons of baby equipment before they need to. What's the point of having stuff sit around for months and months? Yes, having a baby is exciting and joyful and important; but really, you've got nine months to plan and prepare (or eight by the time you figure it out), and only that long to appreciate what's left of your life before it changes irrevocably with the addition of a new member to the family (not to mention the necessity of saving up for the purchasing, be it of new or used items). Entering into the acquisition stage in the late second trimester simply seems the most intelligent thing to do.

So now I can seriously get into researching and comparing various pieces of equipment, and we can start putting together a list. Then we can think of opening a registry somewhere. There's to be a shower in early July (Paze booked that with me two months ago!), so that gives us a good three months to work on this.

Now I need to find a couple of good review sites besides Epinions.com. The pregnancy-focused sites I've found that include reviews tend to be not very clear at all. (Or, you know, maybe that's just my standard impatience with people who don't understand how to write a coherent and useful review.) (Aha - ConsumerGuide.com is decent as well.)

A Certain Kinship With Farmers and Cows

It really is a pity that we cannot set our cats forward when we set the clocks forward for Daylight Savings Time.

Oof!

The baby kicked me hard in the ribs for the first time tonight. Well, not exactly, I suppose; he's not quite big enough. So, the baby kicked the top of my uterus which travelled through whatever organ is currently squished between the uterus and my ribs (that's my stomach, most likely). Which means it must have been quite the kick.

It was more of a surprise; it didn't actually hurt (yet, sigh; it's only a matter of time...).

Random Colour, Meeting #1: Set List

I have fun friends, in a fun band, and we're going to play fun music.

Whereas Invisible started a band just to play, and eventually realised they should probably do a gig-type thing, we are already planning our second performance. We are nothing if not enthusiastic and future-conscious.

And amaretto sours are yummy. Thanks, gang!

Who Knew Prepping For The First Band Practice Would Be So Hard?

The sugar syrup crystallized, even though I took it off the heat when I was supposed to. I think I jogged some of the grains off the sides of the pan, and they did that evil turn-the-whole-pan-into-crystals trick. I rescued what I could. Still tastes like sugar syrup.

And I discovered that I only had a tablespoon of lemon juice left, so I'll have to make the sour mix at ai731's place after I've picked up a new bottle (plus another bag of sugar) along with evil nibble food.

:headdesk:

At least I got the blender down from the very highest shelf without killing myself or anyone else. (No, HRH isn't home, otherwise he'd've done it, or had a fit about me doing it.)

Musings At Five Months Minus Six Days

I can feel the baby moving pretty much all the time now, with a break in the middle of the night and mid-afternoon. It's odd to feel it. In the bath last night I actually saw it -- not a huge movement, but the ripple that means he's moving a hand or elbow along the wall of the uterus. While HRH and I watched the last disc of Haibane-Renmei (excellent, excellent) I curled up against him so that he could put his arm around me and rest his hand on my abdomen to pick up the motion. The baby kicks and punches (sudden motion in one place), rolls (slow movement across), stretches (slow movement out in two places at once), and so forth. Doing an informal kick count, I can say that he's in a very awake and active state for about half an hour, a quieter awake state for maybe twenty minutes, then asleep for another forty-five minutes to an hour or so before it all begins again. But then, I don't lie perfectly still all the time either, even when I sleep.

We've come to the conclusion that we're not going to make a grand announcement -- it's just not our style. People can start noticing on their own. For example, the Random Colour girls are having our first official meeting tomorrow afternoon. I'm a week short of passing five months; and besides, I want to wear my pretty periwinkle blue top tomorrow, and it shows off my lovely pregnant shape rather well. So they'll know, which is fine with me. There's a ritual scheduled for April 24 as well, so a different group will find out then. I've never been trying to hide it, or lie about it; it's just been no one else's business. I've simply not been broadcasting it. I prefer it this way.

I've been very pleased with how we've handled this pregnancy thing so far, actually. By not telling the world, it's allowed me to stay focused on the things I need to focus on, and has allowed other people to focus on what they need to focus on without distraction. The very few people who we've told (as opposed to the people who know, no thanks to the loose-tongued person we thought was trustworthy) have been quietly supportive without being intrusive, proving to us that we made the right decision. And the couple of people who figured it out on their own haven't made a huge celebratory fuss about it either, for which I'm also thankful; they've also respected our obvious preference for privacy.

All in all, I'm enjoying the actual physical state of being pregnant. Yes, there are a couple of small inconveniences, like learning how to bend sideways to tie my shoes, and the frustration being right between an XS and S size of pants (too tight, or slips off the hips), and not being able to walk at the same fast pace I used to walk at, and I haven't forgotten that exhaustion of the first trimester; but apart from that, it's been just fine. Of course, I'm only five-months-minus-six-days through it, and I know I'm just going to get bigger from here on; but in general, it's been good, and I find the stages of growth fascinating. It's not my preferred state -- I've heard of women who adore being pregnant so much that they'd be pregnant all the time if they could, but that's certainly not for me. I also know every pregnancy is different. So far, however, this is rather all right. We'll see what happens in the next four months.

More than halfway through. My goodness. I wonder where the time has gone.

First Day, Take Two

Best intentions, etc, etc.

Yesterday was hijacked by reformatting HRH's portfolio into the correct format for submission to various online applications, which took much longer than I wanted it to. We had to pare the portfolio down to a quarter of its original size, as well, which was a real challenge that took about two hours alone. By the end of the day I saw that I had accomplished absolutely nothing that I'd wanted to do, and yet I'd been working all day. (Okay, I got a serious shoulder massage out of it, HRH's undying gratitude, and he made dinner as well, so it's not like my work was unappreciated; it was just frustrating. It had to be done, though, and it took me a quarter of the time it would have taken HRH on his own. Now it's done, and we won't have to worry.)

So yesterday's plans have been moved to today, as HRH is out doing construction-type stuff. I've already reviewed my proposal, and yes, my wording was vague enough that I thought one thing and the publisher another, most likely. Now I understand why they were looking for a "better" subtitle than the one I had originally furnished: we'd interpreted the proposal in two different ways. All's well that ends well, though, as my own perception of the book has mellowed over the past quarter-year that it's lain maturing in my mind.

With the proposal reviewed, I made a new list of things I want to put in each chapter, which still fit the original proposed themes, and it's going to be blessedly less difficult than I had originally set up. I've also already made pages of notes about the new things I want to say. And curiously enough, the only thing I'm really taking out of the whole exercise is the deep philosophy part that I was obsessing over how to accomplish last fall. It really is the state of mind that determines how you see a subject. Last fall I was in a very different headspace. This spring is much better suited to what I need to do.

I want to have fun with this book. That would be nice. Apart from creating a solid product of which I'm proud, that's my goal: to have fun throughout the writing process. A good goal, I think. And again, with only 40-ish K to write over the next two months, I'm already more relaxed than I was at the beginning of the Wicca book.

I'm going to brainstorm a while longer, fill up even more pages in my notebook devoted to this project, and then around mid-afternoon I'll open up the file with those 15,000 words of the book that already exist and reread them. I have a feeling I'll be pleasantly surprised.

And, on a completely different subject, we're hoping to take a look at a main-floor duplex in Lasalle late this afternoon which has all the things we were looking for in a townhouse, including a double garage (hello, studio space), backyard, a washer and dryer hook-up (and a year-old washer and dryer set for a stunningly low price), a dishwasher, and three bedrooms (hello, my very own office!); in a quiet area without a lot of through traffic, on two major bus routes, and close enough to shops and support. It's being renovated after the last tenants fled in the middle of the night leaving the place a wreck. The owner is a friend of a friend, and someone we've met a few times socially for the past five or so years, and he's willing to make a deal, as we are; and it would be nice to have someone whom we could trust as a landlord. (He's equally happy with the idea of tenants he can trust.) So. It's not the townhouse we were hoping to buy, but it's a definite step up and away from an apartment, and perhaps somewhere where we could stay for more than two years (imagine!). We'll take a look, and we'll think about it, just as we're still thinking about all the other options as well.

Weekend

Fresh strawberries and a chocolatine for breakfast.

Life's pretty okay.

First Day of the Rest of the Green Witch Book

This morning, one last task concerning the Wicca book was sent my way: a short list of inconsistencies found in the MS, such as Divinity vs divinity, Goddess vs the Goddess, and so forth. They want to standardise them in a stylesheet for the copy editor. Alas, most of these are situational, and there isn't a general rule of thumb to fix them. I clarified as best I could and sent it back.

I finished reading the second book at around 9 PM yesterday, and finished writing both reviews by 11 PM. Both favourable, so if you chance across this again, Leo, thumbs up! Nice job! I'll send you a copy of the review once it's been edited.

Today, as I am now officially free of the Wicca book until such time as the copy editor has read through it and provided a reader's report, I can turn back to the green witch book. I've been off the green witch book for three months now, and I have no idea what I was working on, or what I originally planned to do. I'll have to drag all the outlines out of the file cabinet along with the notes and such. I'd love to plot out a writing schedule, but as I have no idea when the Wicca MS will land back in my lap I'm reluctant to do it because I want to remain as flexible as possible.

I'm going to start by reading a few of my reference books to inspire me, then re-evaluate my proposed table of contents and figure out how to make each chapter witchier instead of wisewomany. The wisewoman idea is a terrific one, and I love it, but it's become increasingly clear to me that it isn't what the publisher really wants, and they're expecting something else; the depth and complexity of the subject isn't in keeping with the more accessible topics and styles they've been leaning towards in the early stages of the imprint. We'll have to work up to it as the imprint gains momentum. So, the wisewoman angle must go on the back burner, and it's really for the best, because I'd need a lot more time to allow that particular book to grow and mature properly. I might play with chapter titles, too; that would probably help. And the key to it all is to stay as close as possible to the TOC I originally submitted with the proposal, along with the chapter-by-chapter outline, because that's what they accepted. Knowing me, I probably wrote them to suggest a vague idea of where I'd like to go with each chapter (a chapter-by-chapter proposal is just that, after all: a proposal), because I certainly don't know exactly what has to go where when I propose a book; it's just a projection.

If the sun was out today, it would make this a lot more enjoyable, but I'm just so glad to be back on this project that it really doesn't matter. Besides -- wait for it -- I like rain. (Usually. But not when I want sun to cheer me up.)